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 A
Commitment to Peace
The end of the year is a time when we reflect on
what happened and where we want to go in the New
Year. Every day, I take time to give thanks for the
blessings I have received working at Children’s
Hospital of Michigan (CHM). It is an honor for me to
serve the diverse families that come to this
hospital and to work with such a diverse staff. I
have learned many great lessons, but the most
important for me has been that I can make a
difference in building a peaceful work environment.
When I started working at CHM in 1980, I was full of
assumptions about what the job was and who the
people were and how I would proceed in my work.
Needless to say, I had plenty of conflicts with co-workers
about how we would work together and respect each
other’s work styles.
I have learned that it is scary to have a
conversation in your head all by yourself. We need
to have these conversations with each other. As
uncomfortable as they may be, they’re pivotal to
clarifying our assumptions in order to be an
effective team.
One of the biggest barriers to building a peaceful
work environment is not addressing the actual
behavior that led to the conflict. We spend too much
time labeling and disciplining, all part of a
deficit approach that takes us further from our goal
of workplace peace. If two people have a conflict
over a work assignment and one raises her voice, we
often define the problem as the loud voice. But the
loud voice is merely a symptom of the problem with
the work assignment. If we are committed to peace,
then we must start first by addressing the
miscommunication on the work assignment—then address
the loud voice.
A strength-based approach is a high level of
communication that acknowledges that no matter what
people say and do, there is validity and integrity
in what they are communicating from their own world
view and experience. When we commit to respecting
each other’s diversity at work, it means
acknowledging that not everyone will communicate or
view things in the same way. It means that if
someone says something that offends me or that I am
opposed to, I will first seek to clarify and
understand the person’s context before I give
meaning to her behavior.
A diverse work environment is often the first place
where people encounter difference, so conflict is to
be expected. We should plan for conflict mediation
from a supportive approach that is not punishing but
that seeks to create a team that acknowledges that
its individual members will make mistakes—and that
these mistakes will be learning opportunities that
will build new knowledge.
When I was growing up in San Antonio, I was
fortunate to have a wise grandmother who did not
fear addressing uncomfortable issues. When I would
come home from school after a difficult day, upset
and going on about how bad a teacher was and how she
hated me, my grandmother would look at me and say,
“Lupe, when you meet a person that makes you good
and mad or scares your pants off, get on your knees
and thank God”.
At the time, I didn’t understand what my grandmother
meant, but I do now. You can make a difference by
focusing on yourself and learning from uncomfortable
situations. When I encounter a person who raises her
voice at me, if I respond in a hostile manner then
the conflict is no longer about the other person; it
is about me. My instinct might be to deny that I had
any part in the conflict and blame the other person,
yet I am reminded by the old saying, “If you squeeze
an orange, do you get grape juice? No, you get
orange juice.” I might think I am a peaceful, loving
person, but if what comes out of me when people
don’t agree with my expectations is angry behavior,
then that is who I am.
We can make a difference one person at a time. You
cannot control how another person responds, but you
have a lot of power over your own response. There is
no shame in making a mistake, for that is how we
learn. But if you are making the same mistake over
and over again, you may be stuck in a false sense of
pride and fear of change. So go out and be the
change you want everyone else to be—you will not
regret it!
Guadalupe G. Lara, MSW, is the manager of community
relations at the Children’s Hospital
of Michigan. |
