My brother is a 42-year-old single man desired by many women. He is an entrepreneur, has a great personality, is good looking, and has never been married. He is dating a woman and wants to declare his love by asking her to marry him on their six-month anniversary.

Recently, my brother confessed to me that his girlfriend has him “under her spell” and asked me, “How can I tell if what I feel is really love or just an obsession?”
I told my brother he had to be very careful. It’s very easy to confuse love and obsession, because they have a lot in common. For example, both the person in love and the person who is obsessed want to spend most of their time with the objects of their affection.

The difference between real love and an obsession is that the latter is an emotion based on insecurities. This type of relationship is plagued with doubts and questions that don’t have answers because the channels of communication have never been completely open and a genuine sense of trust doesn’t exist.

So how do you know whether what you feel for your partner is love or obsession? Answer the following questions to get the answer:

1) Are you a better person (spiritually, mentally and psychologically) since you began this relationship, and have you grown as a human being?

2) Do you consider your personal goals important and give your needs the priority they deserve in this partnership?

3) Are you completely convinced that this relationship is beneficial for you and doesn’t cause you to do things you might later regret?

4) Are you interested in the personal growth of your partner and willing to support your partner’s goals?

 

For the complete article request the December issue of LATINA Style magazine.

Maria Marín is a newspaper columnist, radio talk show host, and the author of the audio book Secretos de la Mujer Segura. For speaking engagements and bookings contact Oralia Michel at OMPR, (626) 568-0902. To learn more, visit MariaMarin.com.