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How to Negotiate at Home
How many times
have you wished that your partner would
help you with the housework? Maybe
you’ve stopped asking for help because
you know you’ll get an answer like "I'm
too tired," "It's not my job," "Are you
kidding?" or "I'll do it after the
basketball game." You know that if you
wait for someone else to do the dishes,
those plates will still be sitting in
the sink three months after the
basketball season ends. So you resign
yourself to doing the housework on your
own.
Rather than focus on blaming our
partners for not helping out, we need to
learn how to negotiate with them and
turn the situation around in our favor.
Negotiating is the art of persuading
others to give you what you want, and
there are many different negotiation
strategies and tactics. Negotiating is a
psychological game. What you ask for
isn’t as important as how you ask for it.
So what's the secret?
After years of experience teaching
negotiation techniques to business
executives, I have learned that those
who ask for more always get more. It
doesn't matter whether they are asking
for a higher salary, a better discount,
or a better position. This principle
also applies in personal relationships.
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If you want your partner
to wash the dishes and clean the kitchen tonight,
don't just ask for that. In this negotiation,
ask for a lot more than what you really want.
Let me give you an example:
Last Friday, I left a meeting in a hurry so I
could get home and cook dinner. When the meal
was over, my husband got up from the table and
left me with a pile of dirty dishes. I was very
tired, and I wanted him to clean the kitchen so
I could relax.
I applied rule No. 1 in the art of negotiation:
Ask for more, expect more, and you will get
more. I told my husband, "Listen. Tomorrow you
need to get up at 6:30 a.m. to organize the
garage, mow the lawn, vacuum, and wash the cars.
Then, in the afternoon, go to my mother's house
to take her shopping and out to dinner."
My husband’s response: "What? Are you crazy?" I
quickly came back with, "Well, if you don't want
to do all of that tomorrow, then tonight, please,
do the dishes." To this he replied, "Honey,
where’s the sponge and soap?"
Don't be afraid to ask for more than what you
really want. In life as in business, people will
always give you less than what you ask for—so
always ask for more. Get rid of the "Why ask for
more if I'm not going to get it?" attitude.
Women often struggle to succeed because they
don’t ask for more—and they settle for less.
Raise your expectations, aim higher, and from
now on, apply the golden rule of negotiation:
Ask for more, expect more, and you will get
more.
Maria Marin is a newspaper columnist, radio talk
show host, and the author of the audio book
Secretos de la Mujer Segura. To learn more,
visit
MariaMarin.com. |
