What makes a successful woman? Success is a difficult concept to define, as is love, because it's subjective. Each person will give it his or her own meaning. For an actress, success might be winning an Oscar. For an overweight woman, it might be losing weight. For a mountain climber, it might be reaching the top of Mount Everest. And for a pickpocket, success might be stealing wallets without getting caught. What does success mean to you? Having a good job and earning a lot of money? Finding your prince? Having a beautiful family and living in the home of your dreams? Being able to give your children the best education possible? Maybe looking like a model is what success means to you. We tend to associate our success with what we've achieved or accumulated. If we own a big house, drive a fancy car, wear expensive jewelry, or receive an award, then we feel we are worth a lot and are, therefore, successful.

It's normal to wish for all of those things. Part of being human is wanting more out of life—whether it's more money, health, love, wisdom, fame, or beauty.

A word of caution: Defining your success in life by your achievements or by how many material possessions you own is the easiest way to lower your self-esteem and feel like a failure.

There are many women whom we would consider "successful" who wouldn't necessarily look at themselves the same way. We might look at someone like Marilyn Monroe, who was very beautiful, rich, and famous in her lifetime, and think that she had everything. But her life behind-the-scenes was full of emotional turmoil and conflict. Wealth, beauty, and fame, failed to make her happy. Mother Theresa, on the other hand, who shunned material and superficial luxuries, lived a full and happy life.

There is a universal principle professed by many religious leaders and spiritual teachers from around the world: "The purpose of life is to achieve spiritual growth and wisdom." Note that it does not mention that life’s purpose includes accumulating things, earning a lot of money, or traveling the world before you die.

So if you have a hard day at work or at home but can find it in yourself to be understanding and loving toward someone instead of acting impatient, then it is a successful day for you because you grew spiritually. If you were able to resist the temptation to eat something that isn't good for you, feel successful because you grew as a human being. If you took some personal time and put yourself first, then it was a magnificent day because you grew as a woman.

Start to measure your success by what you learn each day and how much you grow. Once you do, you will begin to feel fulfilled. If today you show more compassion for another, if today you learn something about yourself, be assured that you are a successful woman!

Maria Marin is a newspaper columnist, radio talk show host, and the author of the audio book, Secretos de La Mujer Segura (“Secrets of a Confident Woman”). Her confidence-building seminars empower women to find their inner strength and believe in themselves. To learn more, visit www.mariamarin.com.