Rios Ponce’s life has been torn apart for well over a year. The California-based mother of three remembers the exact time and date that two of her children disappeared with their father, never to resurface. It was Feb. 1, 2003.

“He asked me to give them to him for two hours so he could buy them some clothes, and said he was going to bring them back to me at three in the afternoon,” she says. “I haven’t had any news about him or my children since three o’clock on that day.”

Less than an hour after Tara Cota wandered off with a group of her friends on Alcatraz Island, she eventually found her way back into her mother’s arms. Today it’s a small anecdote that they occasionally retell but do not dwell upon; for Rios Ponce, the absence of her children is never absent from her thoughts.

A year after their disappearance, Josue Osvaldo Torres Rios and Monserath Guadalupe Torres Rios are case numbers adrift in an abyss of missing children. Their photos flickered briefly on local TV screens and then faded into obscurity, but their mother never forgets.

Statistically speaking, momentary disappearances like Tara Cota’s are more common than the highly publicized kidnappings that make front-page headlines. Mary Lynn Fernau is the director of the Child ID Challenge, a national effort to get personal identification to every child in America. “There are 1.3 million total children that go missing each year,” she says. “Of that, approximately 600,000 are involuntarily lost or missing from their parents.”

Fernau’s numbers refer to kids who are lost or missing for more than an hour. Statistics show that another 2.5 million children are lost for shorter periods of time, most commonly at malls, parks, public events and theme parks. It’s that particularly overlooked group that Child ID Challenge is trying to help. Fernau is also the president of Who’s Shoes ID, a Velcro ID tag that attaches to a child’s footwear.

“Protecting your child with a personal ID is vital to their safety, whether they are lost or in a medical emergency,” she says. “An ID is as important as a car safety seat or electrical outlet covers, as important as any other safety precaution you would take for your child.”

That’s a simple piece of advice that few parents take to heart. 60,000 pets are reported lost or stolen every year, and 90% of them wear identification. Only 2% of missing children do.

Photographs are another way to quickly locate a child lost in a crowd. Showing a wallet-sized picture to authorities and other parents can make all the difference in the world. “That’s why parents should carry a current photo ID of their child,” Fernau says. “You have to have that photo ID with you.”

And not just any photo, experts say. The Laura Recovery Center is a Houston-based organization that acts as a liaison between police, the community and the families of missing children. Suzanne Boase is on the board of the directors. "You have to always have a current picture of your child, a photo of how they look every single day,” she says. A school picture — not glamour shots."

That holds true for children who have been abducted, too. The photos that Rio Ponce shows of children Josue and Monserath are simple and straightforward.

Unfortunately, the case and proceedings of the search for her children have been far from simple and straightforward. The fear and panic a caregiver feels when a child goes missing is multiplied when red tape and language barriers are thrown into the mix. Rios Ponce, a native Spanish speaker, has bumped into seemingly insurmountable barriers as she tries to find her children.

“The first thing [parents] have to do is call the police, call 911 immediately, and get the word out,” says Boase. “If the police tell you they have to wait for the first 24 hours, that’s not true.”

Yet that’s exactly what happened to Rios Ponce. “The police told me I had to wait 24 hours,” she says. “Twenty-four hours later, they called to tell me that I had to go to court to arrange for custody of the children.” That’s because she had no prior arrangement in place with their father, Osvaldo Torres Rodriguez. The paperwork alone nearly overwhelmed her. “I didn’t know what any of the paperwork said,” she says. “I didn’t know how to read English.”

In the meantime, the children’s father took advantage of those first crucial hours to slip into Mexico, quite possibly to the border town of Tecate, and out of the jurisdiction of U.S. law enforcement.

The National Center for Missing and Exploited Children stepped in to keep Rios Ponce in contact with the police, the courts and the FBI. The courts and police departments that have handled her case have usually provided translators, but some issues run deeper than just words.

Because publicity is so crucial early on, the Laura Recovery Center encourages parents to talk to the news media as soon as possible. But it’s not true that all missing children are created equal — in terms of media coverage, there’s a premium on kids without messy family histories or complicated custody issues, who disappear in dramatic ways.

Coverage of Rios Ponce’s children has been almost nonexistent, and she feels more frustrated every day. “I don’t have anyone to help me,” she says. “I don’t have anyone to turn to.”

The Laura Recovery Center stresses that it has the resources to handle language issues if Spanish-speaking parents of missing children contact them directly. "When a child goes missing, a family should be able to focus on getting help and not worry about the issue of language," says Boase.

One way families can help themselves is by discussing safety and preparedness together. Sophia Key West is the chief of staff of the Good Knight Child Empowerment Network, a national child advocacy group based in Maryland. Her charity focuses on teaching children how to raise their level of awareness so they can recognize some of the tricks used by criminals to harm them. She emphasizes the need to arm kids with the knowledge of how to deal with being lost or abducted, regardless of their age. "Sit down with your kids at least once, twice a year,” she says. “Get these kids to come up with a plan, because the only way you're going to be able to combat it is if everybody works for the team."

Boase, like many who struggle to reunite parents with missing children, hopes for a day when that instruction means she no longer has an organization like the Laura Recovery Center to work for, a day when children are no longer in danger.

"We want to prevent children from being abducted,” she says. “We hope some day not to be needed at all."
 

 

CHILD ID CHALLENGE SAFETY TIPS: As with any safety measure, parents should coach their children on what to do in an emergency situation. 1. Instruct children to never go anywhere without first getting permission. 2. Have children wear up-to-date, discreet personal ID at all times. 3. Parents always carry a current photo ID of your child. 4. Before going on an outing, play a game of “What do I look like?” Have your children recite what you look like and what you are wearing that day. 5. Tell children to stay where they are if they are lost. Don’t go running around looking for Mommy and Daddy. Assure them you will return to where you last saw their child. 6. Everywhere you go, point out a uniformed employee so children know whom to look for in an emergency. 7. Tell children to also look for another mother with young children and go to her. Mothers are most likely to help other young children. 8. Teach children to show their ID to another mother or uniformed employee in an emergency situation. 9. Go over “stranger danger” rules: never talk to a stranger unless you need help in an emergency, stay a safe distance from people you don’t know. Scream, “Help! You’re not my Mommy/Daddy!” if someone tries to grab them. 10. Teach children to rip off their Who’s Shoes ID and leave it as a clue for law enforcement if a stranger takes them. Courtesy of Who’s Shoes ID, at www.whosshoesid.com